just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
