Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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