8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
