I smell stomach acid.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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