You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
