I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
