Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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