Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
