did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
