Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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