When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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