how can u be prego again
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
