I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
