My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
