I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
