conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
