I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
