Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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