It's Friday. Sex?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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