one two three fourrrrnication!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
