ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
it's like iHOP with fire
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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