Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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