How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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