btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
