We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
