I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Randomize
