so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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