question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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