Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
