I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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