Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
