I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
