OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
