oh fat girl friday strikes again...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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