i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
