I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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