but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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