just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
