You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Im part way to drunk.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
