Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
