So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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