margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
