You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
