im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
