Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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