Well apparently he's into motor boating.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
