you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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