I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
