we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
