Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
