Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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