no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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